Drawing Anger

Expressing anger is a complicated matter. Although the emotion itself is natural, it’s expression can be hurtful to others. As women, we are encouraged Not to express our anger. Anger labels us as aggressive, bitchy, pushy or downright difficult. What we should be is beautiful, kind, sweet, adoring and accommodating. Even the strongest of us struggle with this contradiction, even if our brains know better.

Page from my sketchbook.

Though the emotion itself can be a bit scary, anger can be one of the most satisfying emotions to draw and paint. I have painted a lot on the subject of anger over the years and painting angry people is one of my favorite things to do now. Capturing this emotion on paper exaggerates its essence and in doing so, dissolves it. I can look at a situation with humor when I paint it, whereas I can never laugh when I go around and around in my head about it.

This is not to say that there is no place for anger, or that we have to banish it.

For me, anger is closely associated with overwhelm. The physical act of connecting to my anger through my art has a calming effect that puts me closer in touch with myself. This then allows me to think about what the real issue might be. (Usually the same thing that comes back again and again!)

I often draw myself as the angry person. I sit with my eyes closed, take a deep breath, try to connect to the feeling (usually with gritted teeth), and then draw what I feel. With anger I am usually very literal. I’m not sure why I have a thing with teeth, but I do. Big heads and teeth and wolves. They may be totally obvious, but they work. Sometimes just giving ourselves the permission to Be Angry, to Be the big toothed mad lady, is itself a release.

Of coarse these are for every day feelings and not to replace any treatment you may need or be involved in. For those of us in mid life transitions, however, some physical techniques might be handy to have on hand in the moment as a complement.

I made an affirmation card about listening to my anger. Sometimes it helps to have this picture in my head, as a step to being more compassionate towards myself.

A couple of years ago I took a tennis lesson because my son and I had the idea that we would go out more and play together. I took a lot of tennis as a child but hadn’t really kept up with it. The teacher for the adult evening tennis class was a very unhappy character. He kept yelling at me and telling me to RUN FASTER! I was running plenty fast and his constant yelling made me very angry. This was, after all, a sport I was choosing to do, as recreation, on a weeknight. I came home after one such class and drew him out on my iPad. I felt better. At the end of the lesson block I calmly told my son I was quitting and going back to walking in the dunes. He was thrilled, and announced that he also wanted to quit to start fencing instead. It seemed a win win all around. Drawing it out didn’t change my issue with the teacher, but I could laugh about it. At least enough to decide that I was not going to continue. And I could move on, perhaps the most important part of all.

So the next time you get angry, take a deep breath, use whatever supplies you have on hand, and just draw what you feel. Don’t think too much, this is for you. It can be a bunch of splotches of paint on the page. Or marks, or squiggles. You can delete it or throw it away. But if you’d like to share, I would love to see it.